JOHN’S STORY

John was a 52 year old electrical engineer who came to see me seeking relief of the pain of grieving over the loss of Susan, his companion of nearly 20 years.  She had passed on suddenly three months before from a heart attack.  John was experiencing occasional panic attacks and, figuratively speaking, his own emotional heart attack.  I taught him breathing exercises to use not just when he started to panic, but three times a day to relieve his overall anxiety which he reported as overwhelming. 

John quickly became aware the panic was triggered by quick flashes of memories of Susan’s sudden passing.  I introduced him to the idea that the panic might also represent the body-mind-spirit’s response to what seemed like his own life threatening situation.  He said he felt powerless.  John was creating a “false emergency” state, since his life was not in danger at the moment of the panic.  If it were a “true emergency,” I explained, he would be calm, reminding him of how people in times of “true emergency” focus intensely and have unusual energy, such as lifting a car that is crushing a child.

John was deeply in love with Susan and his grieving represented the heartbreak he felt over the “irreplaceable love” of his life.  He said they had only had two arguments in their entire time together and were each other’s family as both of them had few relatives.  We worked to repair his broken heart.  “Heart trouble” often has to do with matters of love.  Even though his heart condition was primarily emotional, not physical, the body-mind-spirit connection and the love-heart connection cannot be overlooked.  The educational process for understanding these linkages is the same for both physical and emotional heartbreak.  After all, a human being is a whole person, more than and different from a sum of the parts.

John used Gerald Epstein’s guided imagery exercise “Arrows of Hurt” from the book, Healing Visualizations.  If you find yourself experiencing profound heartache, you can use it for yourself. 

Arrows of Hurt

Close your eyes.  Breathe out three times through your mouth with a long, slow out-breath followed by a briefer in-breath through your nose.  Repeat this two times.  Unzip your chest wall.  Reach in and take out your heart.  Remove all the arrows of hurt and toss them away.  Clean up all the sore sports where the arrows were.  Gently massage the heart, replace it back in your chest, and rezip your chest wall.  Listen to your heartbeat and sense and feel the now strengthened heart muscle becoming alive.  Open your eyes.

Equipped with some new tools, after two sessions John decided he could go it alone.  He knows he can contact me in the future if he chooses to do so.